So as you see I have left the current events focus....

Don`t worry we will be back there ... but now I speak of life. You may ask why...well if you have read previously you know I came very close to losing mine...and then shortly thereafter, I lost my father. As many others I now look at my own mortality with fear and irreverence. I have found a certain quantifiable factor which I now am trying to set set free from my body before to many suns set upon my existence....for that time will come....of that I am now sure. This quantifiable factor or tangible piece ... may be no more than the quotes of many who have passed before me or it may be some deep profound thought....the latter I am skeptical of ... but what I do know is before I leave this plane of existence I need to utter it. This need is a driving force....almost like an almost blinding passion that slowly eats away at the interior of my mind. I suppress it, like many others probably....yet it gnaws away desiring to free itself from me. I see it in glimpses .... and then it disappears ... like a shadow that moves past your peripheral and then cloaks itself in the darkness.... and then when you seek it in that shadow by shining the light ... it thins itself ..... like a piece of paper .... showing only its thinnest edge. Leaving you a feeling as if it was your imagination .... the thought was never there. Making you think you were crazy .... but then you think back to this stream of consciousness ..... and like a sentence or my words as you read them now .... the stream just stops and goes underground as streams do out of your sight .... but you know that they lead somewhere ... just as they came from somewhere. These are not the ramblings of a wise or eloquent man just the ramblings of a scared man who has watched all his tomorrows .... the ones he dreamed of .... become his yesterdays. Every nite when I close my eyes I pray silently that I am allowed to have another morning to wake to.... each day is a blessing.